A Semester Halted Short

Corona Time

Wow. If I thought Fall 2019 was a whirlwind, 2020 has been a typhoon so far. It's a semester where I pushed myself to the limit, the worst span of health issues in my life so far, and just all-around as eventful a span of 2 months as I've ever experienced prior.

What is Happening with the World

January was absolutely insane even before the Spring semester was back in action. From Australian wildfires to heated conflict between the United States and Iran (not to mention lesser covered events like the Taal volcanic eruption and persistent flooding in Venice), it seemed like a new shocking world event was occurring every single day. I am not someone who is always very updated with current events, but it was hard to miss these. 

Then, 5 days after the semester begins, the basketball legend Kobe Bryant dies in a helicopter crash and sends the world and a period of grieving. Many of my roommates are huge basketball fans and some even grew up in Los Angeles watching him, so without a doubt, this is the most impactful death I've witnessed, both personally and probably on the news (I was too young to appreciate/remember Michael Jackson). 

Behind the scenes, a disease was flying under the radar - a novel coronavirus tore through Wuhan during this period, but media was largely concerned with other news. Now, COVID-19 has been declared a worldwide pandemic and many countries are taking drastic action to limit travel, social gatherings, and the US has shut down all major sporting events, in-person school, and most other large crowded events. This is why I am home much earlier than anticipated (March), in a year I didn't even anticipate to be home until mid-December.

What is Happening in My Life

I take major pride in the people I associate myself with and develop meaningful relationships with. They have encouraged me to push myself and explore endeavors I otherwise wouldn't, and support me heavily in both academics and social life. However, this time I may have pushed myself a little too much.

Last semester I had already committed myself to two course-staff roles - one as a Senior Mentor in CSM for CS 61A (and correspondingly a tutor), and one as a Reader for CS 170, probably one of the most intellectually challenging but enjoyable classes I've taken so far at Berkeley. In addition, I have played in the Intermission Orchestra since the beginning of my Freshman Year and intended to stay, and my friend had convinced me to join an AFX dance team, which would at very least encourage me to get up and move for 5 hours a week. Finally, I had qualified for UPE, a CS honors society this semester, and that mandates a few sporadic events and meetings throughout the semester. 

So I don't know what I was thinking when I told myself I would take CS 189 this semester, which is one of the most mathematically rigorous and challenging courses in computer science at Berkeley. I had very barely satisfied the prerequisites (concurrently taking multivariable calculus) and had never worked with data science tools in any class besides Data 8. The first week of the Spring semester was filled with much unnecessary anxiety about my class schedule, what to switch out of and into, and even whether or not to buy an iPad (which ended up being a solid purchase though). I see myself as pretty levelheaded, so this persisting anxiety is something I have never experienced in the past (the first time the feeling had lasted multiple days), and it was difficult to control - it's hard to imagine some of my friends and so many people around dealing with this regularly. 

While the feeling faded away after I finalized my classes and schedule, I began to develop health issues pretty much every week - I got sick around 3 times in the 2-month span, my nose swelled up and scabbed from allergies, I got minor food poisoning from a lamb burger, and I developed a persistent runny nose even when other symptoms were gone. Even when I was not sick, I had to take on a project that was more lengthy than any assignment I've ever done at Berkeley and made me question my workload even though I switched to a much lighter class from CS 189. 

All in all, I didn't feel the information "burnout" that I felt in the past semester, but my body definitely reacted in more severe ways that forced me to eat, sleep, and exercise more healthily. Time again is never on my side as I try to fit into too many groups at once, and I didn't get a chance to hang out with my roommates very much besides playing 2k every time I didn't want to do work. 

Any Good News?

My grades haven't been bad, probably better than last semester, but I've always maintained the mindset that a grade doesn't reflect how well you actually know about a subject - it just shows how well you take tests or know how to divide work up with others. I've definitely enjoyed my time as a senior mentor despite it taking a bigger time responsibility than I thought it would, and I've felt myself grow comfortable with TAs in courses that I eventually want to TA for (after the student worker's union won the settlement for fee remission, it is even more appealing, but consequently the school will be hiring less TAs...). Some activities, namely AFX and TIO, haven't been as rewarding this semester, but then again I can't expect every semester to be better than the last. I've definitely grown closer to a few more people this semester, one of which rekindled an unlikely spark for my chess game and another I see regularly now around our house. 

The most successful experiment I put in place this semester is reading on the bus. I realized that we literally live across from a public library, and we take public transportation every day in school for anywhere from 40 minutes to an hour or more. Thus, why don't I get some light reading done on the bus when I can't really focus on other schoolwork or club/project work? It's definitely harder to read on the move than on a bed or quiet isolated environment, but I managed to get through 2 and a half books before having to move back home. 

Despite having to leave Berkeley, I've really appreciated the environment I have at home. I definitely feel healthier, more relaxed, and light actually pours into our living space (lol). I've come to terms that although I can handle busy schedules and spontaneous events, I definitely don't thrive in them. I work best under an environment where I can pause and think, experiment without sacrificing health or grades, and be able to socialize and talk to friends in my free time rather than literally all the time. 

I've also never looked forwards to summer more in my life, and I realize now it is only a couple months away. While the coronavirus puts my plans and opportunities in question, I'll take the fact that there's no news of cancellation so far as a blessing and good news - this is out of my control.

Systems to Put in Place Now

Wow, what a packed 2.5 months of 2020. At home, while comfortable, I often wander around the house as if I don't know what I need to do, even though I have plenty of stuff due or to do. I will refrain from setting deadlines and goals; instead, here are some quantitative systems I want to layout for the next couple of months to prevent myself from doping around all the time. Google Calendar is a godsend. 

Exercise (5-6pm daily): 3x/week bodyweight strength training, 3x/week cardio and mobility, or both every day for less time per day

School and Clubs (follow Calendar): I am currently very behind on lectures for all classes. Now that all my exams and projects are postponed, however, I will use Spring Break to catch up a little bit per day (3 lectures a day). My teaching and OH responsibilities are still on schedule, while AFX and TIO are all but canceled (yay?) 

Reading: 30 min a night before sleep, intermittently throughout the day whenever I'm loafing 

YouTube and Projects: I will alternate every other day. One day I'll indulge myself in thought-provoking or entertaining videos, the next I will follow tutorials to actually build something instead of passively consuming (clear your "Watch Later"!!)

Writing: If I try to construct too many daily habits, I may always end up falling short. Thus I am only committing to putting out 2 blog posts a week, whenever and however long I want. I'll try to write short blurbs or a sentence or two when I wake up or go to sleep, though.

Video Games and TV: Video games are now my primary form of socializing. Luckily, my friends live in Central Time, so when they go to sleep it's still relatively early for me. I am always being made fun of for not watching many movies or TV shows, so I will put them on when doing grunt work or grading homework, and maybe an episode here or there before sleeping or throughout the day so reading doesn't end up feeling like a chore. 

I don't anticipate meeting these goals every day, but I aim never to miss two days in a row for daily plans or two weeks in a row for weekly ones. It'll also be a lot easier to follow during Spring Break when my school schedule is cleared. The rest of my time will devote to messaging friends, talking to family, stepping outside for a walk or fresh air amidst quarantine, and spontaneous ass decisions.

Oh, and taxes. Let's get those done.